Monthly Archives: September 2013

Different strokes

                In my house, music was always kind of a big deal. My mother sings devotional music and classical music from South India, and the rest of us listen to music obsessively. A lot of my memories involve my mother singing, and my brother, father and I trying desperately to sing along. We did not always succeed. I really couldn’t imagine my life without music, and I actually don’t know how to pray without rhythm or music.

                So it was a pretty big shock to me when I learned that some Muslims don’t have devotional music. One of the people I’ve met this year dropped this bombshell on me without blinking. I guess in her family, they see music as something that takes you away from this earthly plane – it’s not something that we should be enjoying, in much the same way that other cultures and religions forbid drinking alcohol, or smoking weed, or any number of other drugs. Music is something that has the power to take you away from yourself, and therefore, is on the same plan spiritually as drugs or alcohol.

                I never would have believed that there are people who don’t feel music the way I do – rhythms and tunes are so much a part of me that at some point, I guess I started assuming that they were a part of everyone else as well. I think I started seeing music as an embedded part of being human, and it’s really not. It’s external – not everyone feels it the same way, and I feel like understanding that basic fact was a really big step for me. This is hands down the best thing about my job. I get to meet so many people who teach me so many things about the world, and I really can’t wait to learn whatever is next.



Where has all the youth gone?

So as it turns out, senioritis is a real thing. I mean, I figured this out before, in high school, when the end of my junior year came around, and I realized that I was just ready to graduate.

But this time around, when my junior year of college ended, I was actually really excited to come back. I wanted to finish my senior year strong! I was not going to procrastinate! I was going to do ALL THE THINGS.

And then I actually got back, and I realized that it was quite possible that I would not be doing all the things – in fact, I would only be doing a bare minimum of the things, and using all my spare time to hang out with friends, sleep, and plan grand adventures for the future. I hit a giant old wall of DONE.

The thing about being a senior is that you manage to tire yourself out just with your expectations. I keep expecting myself to do things that I KNOW I could not possibly do. And I suppose part of that is that I’ve recently had to make decisions about where my life will go next – the fact that I can’t plan out the next part of my life with a handy online class schedule is pretty daunting.

I suppose I feel very grown up, and I’m not so happy about it.

But I remember how grown up I felt at 10. And then when I was 13. And then again when I was 18. And now I’m 20, and I’m really hoping that this is going to be one of those cases where I only FEEL grown up, because I’d really rather be a kid right now.