I’m working on a paper right now, and while you wouldn’t know it from the progress I’ve made, I really enjoy my topic. It’s one of those things I can really just sink my teeth into, and I’m really excited to finish it! Along the way, though, I manage to spot a million and one other things that I would really rather be doing.
I’ve cut my own hair (my bangs look pretty good – my paper does not.) I’ve eaten a lot of assorted stuff. I’ve played my guitar. I’ve watched a whole movie. And episodes of Friends (many, many, many episodes.) I rearranged my room, to allow for maximum productivity! And then I sat down, at my newly cleaned and reorganized space, and finished this blog post.
The problem is that I know what I’m doing post – graduation. I’ve been accepted into the Teach For America 2014 Corps, and I’m about 95% sure I’m going to accept their offer (I’ve got a lot of capital – f Feelings about this whole thing, but I think I’ve come to an agreement with myself!) It’s a lot harder to concentrate on papers and daily drudgery when I know what I’m doing afterwards.
Imagine that you’ve been working towards a goal. And then, you find out that you are going to/have achieved this goal. The only problem is, you need to spend a year doing the same stuff you were doing before prior to moving on. And your mind says “what’s the point? You’ve already got what you wanted, right? Why bother continuing at all? Spend all your spare time reading novels, playing guitar, writing blog posts, and talking to friends! Do nothing ALL THE TIME!”
And I know I can’t do that. I imagine that if I flunked out of school, TFA would quickly rescind my application. But still.
I just want to do nothing.