So after I made my final decision on Teach For America, I may or may not have sunk into a bit of a slump. I did nothing for about two weeks. I mean, I did the basics – I got up, went to class, brushed my teeth, etc. But other than the necessities, almost all of my energy was spent on panicking.
In the middle of all the panic, I also attended a wedding. The couple in this wedding was basically the most gorgeous couple I have ever seen in real life. The most important thing, though, was that they were so happy and put together – they’re both well educated, have jobs they enjoy, and thoroughly wrapped up in each other. It made me wonder how I would ever get from where I am now to where they are, and whether such a journey is even possible. And then I wondered whether than was even what I wanted out of my life – I don’t really know what I want, and that’s sort of terrifying. I’ve always been one of those people who really knew myself. Even today, I would argue that I’m pretty self aware. Unfortunately, that awareness doesn’t extend to my life goals.
However, a couple of days ago, I looked back at myself. I’ve been floating through life, ignoring the big picture, dwelling on the first worldiest first world problems there are. In fact, my life is pretty cool – I have a great family, I’m at a great University, I’ve really enjoyed my life thus far. So I’m trying to be more engaged. I’m trying to spend less of time worrying needlessly, and more time figuring things out, sans worry.
That’s really my goal for December – I know I’m a bit early, but in the absence of a November goal, I’m allowing it. (there was no November goal because of the constant worrying. let’s all be glad that is over.)
So right now, I’ve got a few tentative post – graduation plans. Nothing concrete, but I’m working on it!
And in the more immediate right now, I’m an Elf4Health! Basically, I’m going to be supporting someone else’s health goals and endeavors, while they support mine! It felt like a pretty cool opportunity to me. In one fell swoop, I get to meet some cool new people, force myself to stay more engaged in life this December, AND receive the support I need to get my own health goals back on track!
As I power my way through all of these papers and finals, I’m really looking forward to actively pursuing a more healthy lifestyle.
I also want to get back to my writing a bit this month – I’m really going to be powering through these papers, and I’m hoping I can use the momentum as I finish them to write a blog post a day every day in January! I can’t wait to really get back to the things I love and am passionate about, and I’m SO EXCITED to help someone else out with their own goals as well :)