Lawyering?

So since I was about fourteen, I’ve been saying that I want to be a lawyer.

The reasons for this have changed over time; at first, I was really fascinated in criminal law. Then I started to appreciate the business side of it a bit more, for a while I considered international law. Right now, I’m on the fence; all I know is that I want to work with abused populations, and I think the law is my way to do it.

While I’m not exactly sure if law is the right direction for me – I’m also considering social work – I still need to take the first steps, and so I’ve signed up to take the LSAT in February (in a month and five days, to be exact. I am clearly in over my head!) I was kind of taken aback, though, when I saw that the LSAT costs $165. A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-FIVE DOLLARS. I mean, I know that law school is about a hundred times more expensive, and that I’m going to need to pay for that as well.

But pressing “Continue to Checkout” made a teeny tiny part of my soul shrivel up, as I reflected on what I had just done. What if I get an absolutely terrible score? What if I get a 120 (the minimum score), and can’t get into reputable law schools? Then I’ve wasted months of study, can’t pursue a dream, AND am out $165. While I understand paying your dues, I feel like the majority of undergrad was me paying my dues – don’t I get a free pass on this one?

I guess the money amount was just sort of the final straw, in a way; I’ve been freaking out about this test, and studying (and the fact is that I never freak out over tests!), and now I wonder if I’m going to go broke failing it.

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