Wherefore art thou leaving?

So I want to go to Europe when I graduate, and I know there are people in my life who are wondering why I’m hell bent on leaving. I guess in many ways, I don’t even really know how to articulate it, but I will, for myself and for all of you.

I feel as though I’ve spent my life inside an egg shell. I’ve had everything in here – food, shelter, someone’s been turning me regularly. And I’ve spent all this time growing – my heart has been learning to beat, and I’ve grown slowly bigger. Only as I got bigger, the fluids inside this egg that helped me grow have begun weighing me down. All of these things that have nurtured me so far are settling against my skin, and I feel like I’m going to suffocate if I don’t get out.

And I know that once I leave this shell, I won’t be able to go back – it’ll be broken. A butterfly cannot return to its cocoon, rainwater can’t flow back into a cloud. But once I leave, I’ll have the chance to do new things – I can cross pollinate flowers, water crops, lay my own eggs.

I can come up with new and cooler metaphors.

I guess what I’m trying to say exactly what this quote does:

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. – Anais Nin

My day has come, and while I know there’s a lot at stake, and I’ll need to be careful, and all…I can’t imagine regretting this decision.


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