So I’m at this stage in my life that a lot of recent graduates might recognize. I have some vague ambitions for the future, but for some reason the bridge between where I am now and the place I want to be is…nonexistent? Ephemeral? I mean, I just don’t really envision how I can reasonably get from point A to point B without acquiring a veritable avalanche of debt along the way. And it’s all very easy for my well meaning, debt free friends to say “well then just don’t go to school further!”
I want to go to school further though. There is so much knowledge in this world, and I cannot imagine that what I have thus far acquired is enough. I want to see the world, and learn about other cultures, and once I’m done roaming I want to study and learn all there is to know.
Yes it’s true I must pay off my loans, and yes it is true that the world is not fair, and I don’t have a trust fund that will allow me to travel the world freely and easily, and so I do need to get some sort of job somewhere somehow. This is ALL TRUE, and I’m aware of it. But it’s almost like everyone thinks they can live my life better than I can, and they never hesitate to tell me about it. Which is not say that I think I’m doing the best job, or that other people shouldn’t offer advice. But if I want to travel and do a yoga teacher training course with what little money I have, that should really be my decision. But the minute I bring it up, I’m reminded that I have loans, and need to go back to school for a “serious degree.” In fact, I’m asked whether or not either of these things will actually help me with my “future.”
And this feels like a ridiculous question to me – I mean, what point am I trying to reach, exactly, and why would traveling be so incompatible with reaching this point?
Perhaps this is a simplistic world view, but the way I see it, the eventual point is that we die. Eventually, we cease to have these opportunities to travel and learn and whatever, because we are dead, and that point is coming in such a way that no matter how much we do we will be unprepared, and it will be unexpected. And I don’t even know how long I have before this point hits me, but I certainly don’t want to spend this interim period doggedly doing what is “right” i.e. getting a job, paying off loans, getting married, and popping out kids.
And I mean, if there is something we MUST do during life, what is that thing? Why is it the same for all of us? Isn’t it fully possible that my one thing is not the same as your one thing?
I want to see the world, I want to see all of the little corners of it that have eluded me thus far. I want to see the sunset from eight different vistas, and I want to learn from people I haven’t even met yet. I want a lot out of this life, and it’s frustrating to me that other people aren’t willing to just let me want it.