Tag Archives: procrastination

If you’re from the NSA, I promise I’m harmless

I have fallen off the wagon! I haven’t posted in over a week now, and since I’m basically the only reader of this blog, I’m more or less okay with it! A lot of things happened this past week, and it’s been sort of weird thinking it all through. Classes started, my birthday (party) happened, I’ve been studying for the LSAT, and I have so much free time I don’t know what to do with it. I’m just glad that this is my only real problem.

I have it on good authority that it could be much, much, worse.

I took a personality test earlier this week, and it turns out that I am an INFP! I read all the summaries as honestly as I could, and it seems pretty accurate, so I wondered – how many people out there have the same personality type as I do? Have I met them and simply not realized?

Another thing that struck me was that while my strengths as an INFP were on point, so were my weaknesses. I am indeed reserved and difficult to get to know, and I do enjoy my alone time, and even as I type this I’m quivering at the thought of putting it on the internet (the NSA will probably know it’s me pretty instantaneously.) And I wonder how many friendships I’ve missed out on as a result of this trait. I mean, at this point, the NSA probably knows more about me that most of the friends I’ve had for years. I suppose the NSA knows more about anybody than anybody, but still.

I also sort of wonder how many times you need to mention the NSA to get their attention? Or am I the person they ignore, since the threat is surely the person who is very carefully NOT mentioning them? Is it like Bloody Mary? Say their name three times and they appear behind you hurling accusations of terrorism? That’s not the point at all though. Ignore this paragraph, reacquaint yourself with the previous one, meet me below.

The point is, that my personality type, while describing me fairly accurately, isn’t the most positive one I could have. While it does tell me that I’m creative, it also tells me I’m reserved. It tells me that I’m passionate, and that I’m too idealistic, and sometimes have trouble separating my imaginings from reality. All of these things are true! And while some of them are good, some of them are less so, and while I don’t expect myself to be perfect, I wonder if the bad characteristics don’t outweigh the good. Since I don’t really use my creativity or passion for anything in particular, it kind of seems like a waste to me, and I’m going to fix that!

I’m going to write the next big thing. I’m going to be famous. I’m going to change out of my workout clothes.

…I’m going to go watch more television.

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Paper? Paper.

I’m working on a paper right now, and while you wouldn’t know it from the progress I’ve made, I really enjoy my topic. It’s one of those things I can really just sink my teeth into, and I’m really excited to finish it! Along the way, though, I manage to spot a million and one other things that I would really rather be doing.

I’ve cut my own hair (my bangs look pretty good – my paper does not.) I’ve eaten a lot of assorted stuff. I’ve played my guitar. I’ve watched a whole movie. And episodes of Friends (many, many, many episodes.) I rearranged my room, to allow for maximum productivity! And then I sat down, at my newly cleaned and reorganized space, and finished this blog post.

The problem is that I know what I’m doing post – graduation. I’ve been accepted into the Teach For America 2014 Corps, and I’m about 95% sure I’m going to accept their offer (I’ve got a lot of capital – f Feelings about this whole thing, but I think I’ve come to an agreement with myself!) It’s a lot harder to concentrate on papers and daily drudgery when I know what I’m doing afterwards.

Imagine that you’ve been working towards a goal. And then, you find out that you are going to/have achieved this goal. The only problem is, you need to spend a year doing the same stuff you were doing before prior to moving on. And your mind says “what’s the point? You’ve already got what you wanted, right? Why bother continuing at all? Spend all your spare time reading novels, playing guitar, writing blog posts, and talking to friends! Do nothing ALL THE TIME!”

And I know I can’t do that. I imagine that if I flunked out of school, TFA would quickly rescind my application. But still.

I just want to do nothing.